"Progress"

"I hope that one day the minority will be in power and not do what they were taught to do."

today i was waiting for the bus with one of my new friends and we had an interesting conversation.

we were talking about progress in the southeast asian community.

the conversation started because she's cambodian and she grew up in minnesota.  i asked how it was like growing up there and how the cambodian community was out there.  she mentioned that it got dramatically larger and i asked where were most folks coming from.

she said california.

as someone who grew up in california and experienced many people who were forced to leave because of dwindling opportunities, i said, yeah.  that does happen.  especially after companies close and folks realize california is just so expensive.

however, she expressed that while that may be the case, she thought it was better.  she felt that it was good that people could actually move and that when they did move, it allowed they to progress.  

she thought that while having big communities in one place was good in some ways . . she thought that sometimes communities also hold people down or back.  she cited lowell . . where cambodian folks stayed even though staying meant they stayed poor.

i responded that i guess it depended on what you meant by progress.

she defined progress as job opportunities, educational attainment, independence from social welfare programs . .

at that point, i realized that we looked at progress and community development from different perspectives.  all the things she listed . . i felt were things that her american teachers taught her meant progress.  all the things that she mentioned was progress . . were all western definitions of progress.

maybe i'm a bit biased . . but to me . . progress is the low-income communities i grew up in.  where we used to be able to fill up an entire temple with just tai lue folks.  where our samakom threw huge new years parties.  where my mother used to dress up for new years and dance with dozens of other mothers.  where my dad had friends and family to watch football with on sunday afternoons.  where i had a cousin living on every block within a ten block radius . .

thats how i remember growing up poor was like.

now, according to her standards . . i guess we've progressed.  my parents own a home.  malisa, james, and i all graduated from universities.  i make probably twice as much money an hour than my mom and dad would ever make.  my rent is more than the mortgage my parents paid for our entire house.  i shop for groceries at whole foods.  

but then again . . my grandma goes to temple with about a handful of other older women.  san diego's lue samakom doesn't have new years parties anymore . . heck, we barely have a board of directors.  my mom no longer has girlfriends to dance with . . much less stay on her feet for longer than 30 minutes at a time.  my dad eats all his meals alone.  and the kids i grew up are spread out into 4 other states.

i guess we're progressed.

but heck, if this is "progress" . . it sure is lonely.